Step family help is really needed in the home… especially when there’s a lack of communication from the start of the family itself.
When there is no communication, it’s like a time bomb just ticking away - waiting at any moment to explode. There are values, emotions and principles that are being tested.
For example: You’re the step parent. Your spouse - the children’s biological parent - for whatever reason - doesn’t parent the children the way you believe they should be treated/parented/disciplined. If you are the step parent and the “parenting” isn’t being carried out the way you believe is Biblically. What will you do?
- allow it to eat you up inside?
- let it infect and infest your emotions?
- sit idly by while it wedges negative feelings about your spouse?
- try and forget about until it cause you to resent your spouse causing you to withdraw from your spouse AND the children?
There IS a better way.
First, there needs to be an understanding from the beginning. The understanding and conversation needs to be about WHO, HOW and WHAT.
WHO: Who will be the primary disciplinary in the home. The children need to KNOW who this person is and they need to KNOW that BOTH the parent and step parent is to be listened to, allowed to discipline and BOTH are on the same page. Any time there is a message from EITHER parent, the OTHER parent is to BACK him/her with the decision.
HOW: How will the “messages” be relayed. Will there be a warning first? Will there be any consequences for any infarction of the rules? What will they be? How long will it be?
WHAT: What will be the primary and secondary method of discipline. This depends a LOT on the children and what they respond to when there needs to be a “message” relayed to them.
This can all be cleared up and kept from the worse case by simple communication from the beginning.
Hope this article helps you and your family.
If you know of someone it CAN help, please send them the link.